This has been one of the principles that I've held since I started making friends. I truly believe that, as a friend we should offer our help when it is needed. People knew me knows that I would just agree to help anybody if they come to me no matter how hard it is to accomplish the task, how complicated the problem it was to be solved, how troublesome and how time consuming it would be for me. I'll promise to help and I'll never break my promises. This is me; I'm a true advocate for the line "a friend in need is a friend indeed".
Often times, some of my closer friends tell me that, I shouldn't be too nice, that I should have had priorities on myself over others. One friend even left me a comment on Friendster saying that, "She is a truly helpful person, if you have any problems can find her, she will definitely have a way to solve it for you, but do not manipulate her."
You can probably call this altruism but I don't really think so. Although I do not get anything in return from the friend I helped, I harvest satisfaction from helping others. I feel happy when the people I've helped are relieved from their problems and I do not see their troubled face anymore.
I have been a happy soul until recently. A few incidents happened which makes me feel so exploited and manipulated. For the first time in my life, I felt so irritated for helping a friend.
Incident 1:
This particular friend was in a club and he was having an activity in half an hour and his members weren't there yet. I happened to be studying nearby. His phone is almost out of credit and he wanted to call his member. I lend him my phone and he made the call. Meanwhile, he asked for my help to sort some things out. No problem. He was getting frustrated when his members when they haven't arrive yet but the activity time was drawing close. Probably because of that, he sounded more demanding when he wanted to use my phone and call the person again. Probably he didn't realize but I was getting agitated. Later on, he borrowed my phone again and again for about another 10 times or so to call his members... Worst part of all is hearing him say that he didn't feel so guilty since mine is a post-paid. Their activity came across a few obstacles, I told him, the leader, and the solutions because I'm very active in extra-curricular activities as well and those were just some of the common problems that I usually come across. Ridiculously, he's expecting me to do it? I felt so dumb to be sitting there so long that day, allowing myself to be manipulated.
Incident 2, 3 and 4:
These incidents were closely related to each other and weren't so much of helping a friend. They had to do with birthday gifts. In my opinions, gifts are for appreciation, to family and friends that are close to us, been through good and bad times with us, and people we cared for. I'm very sensitive with birthdays, family's and friend's, I seldom forget people's birthday and I use to buy them gifts or at least send them wishes. I love to send people midnight birthday wishes because I want to be the first to wish them happy birthday. But lately, a few of my not-so-close friends came to me and "invited" me to share birthday gift for a few not-so-close friends, just because the gifts that they wanted to buy are too expensive. We don't even talk to each other often. I'm supposed to be included when its time to buy gifts when I'm not invited to have lunch together, not invited to study together? And I'm a friend in need!
I am still wondering if I should be laughing at myself or to be angry with myself because I feel very stupid now for being a friend in need. I really despise people that misuse the quotation I love most.
Often times, some of my closer friends tell me that, I shouldn't be too nice, that I should have had priorities on myself over others. One friend even left me a comment on Friendster saying that, "She is a truly helpful person, if you have any problems can find her, she will definitely have a way to solve it for you, but do not manipulate her."
You can probably call this altruism but I don't really think so. Although I do not get anything in return from the friend I helped, I harvest satisfaction from helping others. I feel happy when the people I've helped are relieved from their problems and I do not see their troubled face anymore.
I have been a happy soul until recently. A few incidents happened which makes me feel so exploited and manipulated. For the first time in my life, I felt so irritated for helping a friend.
Incident 1:
This particular friend was in a club and he was having an activity in half an hour and his members weren't there yet. I happened to be studying nearby. His phone is almost out of credit and he wanted to call his member. I lend him my phone and he made the call. Meanwhile, he asked for my help to sort some things out. No problem. He was getting frustrated when his members when they haven't arrive yet but the activity time was drawing close. Probably because of that, he sounded more demanding when he wanted to use my phone and call the person again. Probably he didn't realize but I was getting agitated. Later on, he borrowed my phone again and again for about another 10 times or so to call his members... Worst part of all is hearing him say that he didn't feel so guilty since mine is a post-paid. Their activity came across a few obstacles, I told him, the leader, and the solutions because I'm very active in extra-curricular activities as well and those were just some of the common problems that I usually come across. Ridiculously, he's expecting me to do it? I felt so dumb to be sitting there so long that day, allowing myself to be manipulated.
Incident 2, 3 and 4:
These incidents were closely related to each other and weren't so much of helping a friend. They had to do with birthday gifts. In my opinions, gifts are for appreciation, to family and friends that are close to us, been through good and bad times with us, and people we cared for. I'm very sensitive with birthdays, family's and friend's, I seldom forget people's birthday and I use to buy them gifts or at least send them wishes. I love to send people midnight birthday wishes because I want to be the first to wish them happy birthday. But lately, a few of my not-so-close friends came to me and "invited" me to share birthday gift for a few not-so-close friends, just because the gifts that they wanted to buy are too expensive. We don't even talk to each other often. I'm supposed to be included when its time to buy gifts when I'm not invited to have lunch together, not invited to study together? And I'm a friend in need!
I am still wondering if I should be laughing at myself or to be angry with myself because I feel very stupid now for being a friend in need. I really despise people that misuse the quotation I love most.
