Struggle
firefly
I’m struggling with ESSENTIAL statistics for behavioral sciences... What on earth can I do to improve? I’ve been trying exceptionally hard to understand each and every concept. It is very important because I’ll be using it for my researches in 2nd and 3rd year. I don’t want to imagine what life would be like when I do my research if I still couldn’t understand these ESSENTIAL statistics...

Why has it got to be so hard for me to understand these things? Can’t my critical and analytical thinking help me to understand? What kind of special abilities do I need to possess to compute them?

Argh... I’ll crawl till the end no matter what. I’m going to master statistics. It’s ESSENTIAL.

Sigh............
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A World Fit for Children
firefly
Last Saturday, on the 1st of November 2008. I’ve participated in an inspiring event, where it sparked a thought into my head to dedicate a new blog for the children in the whole world. It was the 4th National NGO Forum themed “A World Fit for Children”.

Mainly students and NGOs attended the forum but there were quite a number of people. Truthfully speaking, if it wasn’t for my lecturer I wouldn’t be there in the first place. I was suppose to attend the forum and write a report about it but it turned out to change my point of view, widened my thinking perspectives, led me into the reality and motivated me to empower the vulnerable yet precious children’s lives.

I would give the forum a 5/5 rating if it wasn’t for the hypnotizing opening speeches. I could barely gather my thoughts and concentrate on what the people were talking about. In the opening speech, we were “briefed” about their past efforts and current progress, but I’m 100% sure that nothing got registered even in my short-term memory. However, things started getting better as soon as we got into our groups for discussions about the assigned topics.

I went into a studio room where there were only about 20 people. From that instance, I knew that I had to take off my hat, put on my thinking cap and take on the role as a child rights advocate. We are in the Child Rights Advocacy and the Media discussion room. Dr. Kiranjit Kaur was the first to speak and she presented on the functions of the media and how it can be used for child advocacy. Be it the print media or the electronic media, they were very profit-minded. Everything that goes in or comes out have to, in the end turned into $$$. All news, articles, messages or advertisements were weighed with $$$, a unit that we never have had learnt in mathematics that it is used for weight.

That is the reality and that is also why we, all the participants couldn’t answer her question when we were prompted in the discussion. What have we come across in the media that tells us about children? We could hardly recall anything in the TV that “speaks” for a child, not to mention letting a child speak. I for one could only think of how children are used in advertisements. She explained about media framing and how has it been in Malaysia. Either it is a Malaysian attitude to be less sensitive to a certain issue when it cools down after awhile, or just because nobody is discussing about it anymore (currency of a topic), or we are just plain forgetful! Everything just seems temporary. Let me illustrate that in an actual example. When Nur Ain or Sharlinie went missing, there are very intense efforts and sizzling discussions in the country. Everyone was alarmed-for awhile. Eventually, these “trends” never last.

Out of sight, out of hearing, therefore out of mind? Helen Keller would have called that socially deaf and blind.

Haven’t the public realize how serious these problems are and that preventive measures has to be taken at all times? It struck me during the discussion, all those elements that makes up news values, impact, timeliness, currency etc., I wonder how they were defined when it comes to fighting for rights and supporting causes. Aren’t these supposed to be evergreen issues? If there weren’t such big impact to our lives, why are there so many NGOs and movements trying so hard on raising awareness and focusing everyone’s attention to a certain issue? Why their ongoing efforts get buried under scandals and entertainment news? From that point, I knew that I had to do something; I’m a new media user. I’m part of the media, I can make a difference. The internet is where I shall begin with.

We had another speaker in our session. She’s the writer for the Child Wise column in Sunday Star, Ruth Liew. Her speech further assured us that every one of us can do something and make a difference as an individual. Her inspiring experiences and efforts left us no room for excuses as she had walked through tough times to be who she is today, a child advocate in the media.

The brainstorming sessions began after we were split into 3 groups using the “Titanic” game. Each group came up with a good few of key recommendations on how we can change the media’s roles in child rights advocacy and which each presented well. We were well-informed about the problems that we have today such as the over-emphasis on academic achievement which led to major problems in children today such as stress, depression, various other mood disorders and suicide. The culture here that we have very high acceptance or I should say we have been educated this way-to accept everything others say. This has led the children today and even some adults to be reacting passively even to the matters which concern them. Most importantly, many of us do not know what are the rights of a child. There was little exposure via family teachings, school education, community discussions or even the media.

We later gathered with all the other sessions such as the Child Protection, Technology and Its Risk, Education, Drugs and Vice, and Juvenile Justice where each session sent a representative to present on the points as presented their respective discussions. It was very pleasing to see proactive people voicing up their thoughts, comments and questions during the Q & A session. This shows that the crowd has been critical and analytical towards what had been presented.

The forum came to an end in the evening and I went home as a satisfied, inspired and with a vision to be part of a child advocate.
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An Eye Opening Experience
firefly
I finally had a chance to visit an orphanage. Along with 10 others including Ms. Debbie, we went to El-Shaddai Shelter Home on the 2nd of November 2008. We wanted to get the children's Christmas wishes so that we can have a Christmas Wish Donation Drive for them and buy them the Christmas presents they wished for.

We, I mean Circle K'ers (I'm no longer in the club anymore due to various personal reasons), are supposed to launch the Christmas Tree Project today. We had borrowed a Christmas tree from the Department of Student Affairs to be set up at Lower Foyer, Main Block, HELP University College from 3rd of November till 3rd of December 2008. The Christmas tree will be decorated with the children's wishes. We believe that HELP has a very generous community who are always enthusiastic with helping the needy and wholehearted about community service. Therefore, we are looking forward to the donations of everyone to make the little children's dreams come true.

We arrived at the orphanage which is situated at Old Klang Road quite early at 10.30am and the children were all ready to welcome us. Although everyone seem quite awkward with each other at first; the children looking at us, and we looked at the children, we were able to start off by introducing ourselves by the “HI-game” and name train (I suggested that to train our memory) so lets see if it works.

Children: Jonathan, Raymond, Simon, John, Kelvin, Muthu, Peter, Pricilla, Rebecca, Rachel, Ruts, Elizabeth, Cynthia and Pristilla.

Circle K'ers and others: Jia Min, Jeffrey, Joyce, Yin Tong, Yvonne, Boon Chin, Gym(me), Megan, Carmen and Amy!

It works! Oh and Ms. Debbie, our faculty advisor, Mr. Anthony, the person in charge in the home and Mr. Mano, the friendly uncle that sent us there.

For the first time, I find it difficult to apply my communication skills to these children after taking all those classes. Most of them are in kindergarten, only a few in primary school and one very young girl, Rebecca who hardly understand us because she's too young and she's also a bit mentally challenged. Nonetheless, all of them are cute and adorable in everyway (to me). I don't mind children being a bit annoying and I gain satisfaction through getting them paying attention, listen or attracted to me without having to scold them.

The game was quite confusing and honestly speaking didn't really go well. It's a game called Two Truths and A Lie. Everyone has to write down 3 statements about themselves, 2 of which are true and 1 which is false. Yvonne had modified the game a little since our purpose of the visit is to get the children's Christmas wishes but we want to give them a surprise. As a result, the children were given specific instructions of what to write, i.e. their hobby, the Christmas gift they want, and a person they like. It wasn't really so difficult but we had a tough time explaining, looking, controlling all of them. Those little boys are hyperactive... Rebecca too. She didn't really get to participate in the activity since she was too young to understand. She can't even write words. All she did on the three pieces of paper was drawing pictures that only she can understand-four crotchet-like bean sprout, some kind of abstract art chicken or vegetable (I really don't know) and a few dots. She ended up sitting on my lap, while I draw a few flowers and butterflies for her and playing with my glasses. Thank god, it's still in good shape.
We were finally over and done with the game at 12.00 noon and its lunch time! Children, those are watermelons not papayas...

After lunch was when everything's a bit more serious, our big project-paint the banner! Newspaper? Check. Cloth? Check. Color? Check. Here we go!






Some of the members started painting the predesigned pictures done by Zoe while the others help the children to paint their hands and print it on the banner. We had so many designs and everybody is definitely having fun while Yvonne is looking after the children. We were so mean. We can actually hear her scolding the children now and then when they misbehave. I believe that she's a teacher now. Eventually, I took after her job after awhile so that she can take part in drawing the banner. I manage to keep the children busy with the coloring books that I've brought, while teaching Rebecca the animals in each page.

Uncle Mano came at 2 something, but we weren't done yet. We suggested the children to play the Eagle and Lil' Chicks game where the mother hen will look after her lil' chicks from being snatched by the eagle. They had so much fun where they screamed and screamed. That was when we started getting closer. Rebecca was so attached to me that she was clinging to me when we had to leave.

The journey back to college was short, but I had a lot of time thinking about the children at the home and many other things that I would like to do with them.
I wish I could help the all the unfortunate children. Tell them that they can still be the best. I can see from the shine in their eyes, that one day, they'll be a superstar.


With Love~
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A Friend in Need is a Friend Indeed
firefly
This has been one of the principles that I've held since I started making friends. I truly believe that, as a friend we should offer our help when it is needed. People knew me knows that I would just agree to help anybody if they come to me no matter how hard it is to accomplish the task, how complicated the problem it was to be solved, how troublesome and how time consuming it would be for me. I'll promise to help and I'll never break my promises. This is me; I'm a true advocate for the line "a friend in need is a friend indeed".

Often times, some of my closer friends tell me that, I shouldn't be too nice, that I should have had priorities on myself over others. One friend even left me a comment on Friendster saying that, "She is a truly helpful person, if you have any problems can find her, she will definitely have a way to solve it for you, but do not manipulate her."

You can probably call this altruism but I don't really think so. Although I do not get anything in return from the friend I helped, I harvest satisfaction from helping others. I feel happy when the people I've helped are relieved from their problems and I do not see their troubled face anymore.

I have been a happy soul until recently. A few incidents happened which makes me feel so exploited and manipulated. For the first time in my life, I felt so irritated for helping a friend.

Incident 1:
This particular friend was in a club and he was having an activity in half an hour and his members weren't there yet. I happened to be studying nearby. His phone is almost out of credit and he wanted to call his member. I lend him my phone and he made the call. Meanwhile, he asked for my help to sort some things out. No problem. He was getting frustrated when his members when they haven't arrive yet but the activity time was drawing close. Probably because of that, he sounded more demanding when he wanted to use my phone and call the person again. Probably he didn't realize but I was getting agitated. Later on, he borrowed my phone again and again for about another 10 times or so to call his members... Worst part of all is hearing him say that he didn't feel so guilty since mine is a post-paid. Their activity came across a few obstacles, I told him, the leader, and the solutions because I'm very active in extra-curricular activities as well and those were just some of the common problems that I usually come across. Ridiculously, he's expecting me to do it? I felt so dumb to be sitting there so long that day, allowing myself to be manipulated.

Incident 2, 3 and 4:
These incidents were closely related to each other and weren't so much of helping a friend. They had to do with birthday gifts. In my opinions, gifts are for appreciation, to family and friends that are close to us, been through good and bad times with us, and people we cared for. I'm very sensitive with birthdays, family's and friend's, I seldom forget people's birthday and I use to buy them gifts or at least send them wishes. I love to send people midnight birthday wishes because I want to be the first to wish them happy birthday. But lately, a few of my not-so-close friends came to me and "invited" me to share birthday gift for a few not-so-close friends, just because the gifts that they wanted to buy are too expensive. We don't even talk to each other often. I'm supposed to be included when its time to buy gifts when I'm not invited to have lunch together, not invited to study together? And I'm a friend in need!

I am still wondering if I should be laughing at myself or to be angry with myself because I feel very stupid now for being a friend in need. I really despise people that misuse the quotation I love most.
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